Annoying Trends of ‘08

I know it’s only October, but I’m going to get all retrospective already, whether you like it or not. So take that. Anyway; I feel safe in saying 2008 has been a great year. Many people say 2008 is the year of change – After all, America’s getting a new president, at last – but I’ve noticed…. Well, it isn’t. There seems to be a massive amount of trends popping up in 2008, and let’s take the opportunity to expose them for the uncreative messes they are, shall we?

ZOMGSEQUELS!!1!:

I’m going to say this upfront. 2008 is full of sequels. Gaming seemed to notice this, but don’t think films (or even books) have managed to get away with it. I couldn’t be bothered finding all the sequels of 2008, but here’s a brief look back on the year that was:

 

Ah... Original.

 

 

Euch. Still, so long as the original was good, sequels are good too, right? Not really. A lot of these sequels seem to just be milking the franchise for all it’s worth before it dies off for good. In the case of Rambo, my money’s on Stallone dying before the franchise does. Huzzah. Anyway, another disutrbing trend (but not one big enough to be its own) is the frequency of the digit 4. It seems all the big-budget blockbusters for this year (Namely, Grand Theft Auto and Metal Gear Solid) were all 4ers. Does this mean we’ll see more sequels in ‘09? I hope not. Well, so long as it’s at least Grand Theft Auto 5. Or maybe Iron Man 2.

A Boy And His Dog

Okay, it seems like a really miniscule “Trend”, but it’s something that’s been bothering me. Well, not bothering. Like, it doesn’t keep me up at night. But still. It seems Dogs are apparently the new way to connect audiences to the medium. Dogs have been featured in games quite a bit. Some retro gamers will remember with non-fondness the Dog from Duck Hunt, who would laugh at you whenever you missed a shot.

Let's see you fire a gun. Dick.

Though of course, there have been many games about dogs (Minus A Dog’s Life for the PS2), and perhaps for good reason. In any case, the big draw card for Games this year was the emotional connection; really making the player feel what the game feels. Apparently, both Bethesda Software and Lionhead Studios decided the best way to do this was to put dogs in their game. It seems to be doing well, too. Dogmeat and… “Dog” have both been commented on as being an emotional connection to the game. I once read a Bethesda blog about a playtester trying for an evil character. In his words:

“That’s until I met Dogmeat. Dogmeat taught me how to love.”

A virtual dog warmed the virtual heart of a real person. That’s gotta be a good sign.

Electronica makes a comback. About time.

I’ll admit one thing. I’m not normally one for modern music. Sometimes I feel like the uncool kid; only catching on to the “latest” music at least a year afterwards. So it’s rather relieving to find a connection to the world of today with some new music releases. Electronica has always seemed like Music’s European cousin; only popular in German raves. So it’s a breath of fresh air to see artists like Sam Sparro, The Presets and even (guh) Lady GaGa. Okay, maybe this paragraph is going against the title of the post, but nevertheless I’m sticking by it as a trend of ‘08.

Australia hates everything

I live in Australia. It’s a pretty good country, though admittably I’d rather live in the USA or some other place. But this year has shown a reason for me to hate my country. For some reason, Australia’s censorship board, the OFLC, is particularly sensitive this year. 2008 has seen such big-name releases such as Grand Theft Auto IV and Fallout 3, and those names bring me to my point. Both of these games were edited for Australian release. I’m still unaware of what was edited from Grand Theft Auto IV, but Fallout 3 had to remove the real-world Morphine as a usable drug. Yeah, I don’t know why either. This can probably be attributed to one thing; the fact Australia has no 18+ Games Rating. We have this rating for Film and even books, for God’s sake. So why is it difficult to bring in one for games? The debate continues. Still, if there is one good thing to come from this, it’s that my own 15-year self can purchase these mind-warping games.

Well, that looks about it for now. If I can think of anything else I hate, I’ll keep you posted. Oh, and if you’ve noticed something annoying about 2008, post it down there in the comments so all the world can see. Saves me writing more material.

Get Behind Me Satan

Not just my personal catchphrase, “Get Behind Me Satan” is the fifth album from indie band The White Stripes. And while casual fans still ponder whether Jack and Meg are brother and sister or in fact a divorced couple, the diehard fans, and indeed reviewers, praise The White Stripes for reasons unknown to me. I’ve been listening to this album repeated for the past few days, and I think that means I’m justified to critique it. So here goes.

 

Jack White is technically not able to perform an Exorcism. We apologise for the misunderstanding.

Let’s start with the good. GBMS takes The White Stripes into a new direction. With a phat new sound, Jack and Meg rock out like the best of them. Well, not really. But still, Get Behind Me Satan shows off the regular bunch of interesting lyrics. Quite a few songs don’t actually seem to mean anything, but I suppose that appeals to some people who just are in it for the music. Quite a few songs are rather uplifting, and managed to bring me out of my computer-induced apathy, if only for me to sink back into it. Unfortunately… that’s about all the album has going for it. So, with that out of the way, let’s rip this fucking thing to shreds.

Okay, let’s get one thing done. I know Jack White is the guitarist of The White Stripes. This means he’s done a lot of cool things with the ax, even going so far as to make a regular guitar sound like a bass guitar in “Seven Nation Army”. Y’know, as opposed to just using a bass. Dedication is what it is. But, that said, Jack White should not do guitar solos. Song 8, Instinct Blues,  is a top showcase of this. the solos throughout the song are terrible. It’s like Jack is just flailing wildly on the strings, hoping to make some magical combination of notes. It’s like Jack is an amateur guitarist in a high-school rock band, attempting to write the Best Solo Ever Known To Man, but producing something akin to cat wails. It almost seems like he doesn’t even have faith in himself, as the “solos” are pitifully long, and often end abruptly, as if he signalled to Meg he couldn’t think of anything else to do. 

 

*Not Jack White.

Okay, so we’ve established that. Let’s move on to the other half, literally. Meg. Meg is quite a few things. Pretty, maybe. Plays drums, yes. Has experience in other percussion? Sure, why not? But, just as Jack has something he can’t do, so does Meg. Meg can’t seem to sing. I’m sorry to be critical to her. Track 9, Passive Manipulation, is essentially her talking. I also really hope she didn’t write the song, as it uses the most obtuse and obvious rhymes to create one of the most pointless songs I’ve ever heard. Sorry, Meg. I really am. Thank god it’s only about a minute long, though.

That said, Get Behind Me Satan does have several good songs. Blue Orchid kicks the album off to a good start, and the flow is kept… afloat by “My Doorbell”, “The Denial Twist” and “Take, Take, Take”. So it’s not all bad, and well worht a listen, I suppose, if you’re into that sort of thing. I’m just glad I don’t have ot listen to it for a while. two days of constant Get Behind Me Satan is a little… Wearying.