Not just my personal catchphrase, “Get Behind Me Satan” is the fifth album from indie band The White Stripes. And while casual fans still ponder whether Jack and Meg are brother and sister or in fact a divorced couple, the diehard fans, and indeed reviewers, praise The White Stripes for reasons unknown to me. I’ve been listening to this album repeated for the past few days, and I think that means I’m justified to critique it. So here goes.
Jack White is technically not able to perform an Exorcism. We apologise for the misunderstanding.
Let’s start with the good. GBMS takes The White Stripes into a new direction. With a phat new sound, Jack and Meg rock out like the best of them. Well, not really. But still, Get Behind Me Satan shows off the regular bunch of interesting lyrics. Quite a few songs don’t actually seem to mean anything, but I suppose that appeals to some people who just are in it for the music. Quite a few songs are rather uplifting, and managed to bring me out of my computer-induced apathy, if only for me to sink back into it. Unfortunately… that’s about all the album has going for it. So, with that out of the way, let’s rip this fucking thing to shreds.
Okay, let’s get one thing done. I know Jack White is the guitarist of The White Stripes. This means he’s done a lot of cool things with the ax, even going so far as to make a regular guitar sound like a bass guitar in “Seven Nation Army”. Y’know, as opposed to just using a bass. Dedication is what it is. But, that said, Jack White should not do guitar solos. Song 8, Instinct Blues, is a top showcase of this. the solos throughout the song are terrible. It’s like Jack is just flailing wildly on the strings, hoping to make some magical combination of notes. It’s like Jack is an amateur guitarist in a high-school rock band, attempting to write the Best Solo Ever Known To Man, but producing something akin to cat wails. It almost seems like he doesn’t even have faith in himself, as the “solos” are pitifully long, and often end abruptly, as if he signalled to Meg he couldn’t think of anything else to do.
*Not Jack White.
Okay, so we’ve established that. Let’s move on to the other half, literally. Meg. Meg is quite a few things. Pretty, maybe. Plays drums, yes. Has experience in other percussion? Sure, why not? But, just as Jack has something he can’t do, so does Meg. Meg can’t seem to sing. I’m sorry to be critical to her. Track 9, Passive Manipulation, is essentially her talking. I also really hope she didn’t write the song, as it uses the most obtuse and obvious rhymes to create one of the most pointless songs I’ve ever heard. Sorry, Meg. I really am. Thank god it’s only about a minute long, though.
That said, Get Behind Me Satan does have several good songs. Blue Orchid kicks the album off to a good start, and the flow is kept… afloat by “My Doorbell”, “The Denial Twist” and “Take, Take, Take”. So it’s not all bad, and well worht a listen, I suppose, if you’re into that sort of thing. I’m just glad I don’t have ot listen to it for a while. two days of constant Get Behind Me Satan is a little… Wearying.
Tags: GET BEHIND ME SANTA, the power of Christ compels you, your mother repairs docks in hell
